Blonde Joke #2

Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant?

He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.

Blonde Joke #1

How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?

He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.

Milkweed, Honeysuckle, and Pussy Willow

A farmer was sitting on his porch when a young man drives in and comes to the porch.

"Sir, I was driving by and noticed you had a lot of milkweed in your pasture.  Would you mind if I went out and got some milk?" "You don't get milk from milkweed," the farmer replied. "Oh yes," said the young man, "I have a degree in Agriculture from the University of Tennessee, I know all about it. "Well, help your self," said the farmer. He soon saw the young man coming back to his car with two buckets full of milk.

 The next day the farmer was again sitting on his porch when the same young man drove up.  "Sir, yesterday when I was getting milk, I noticed you had some honeysuckle in the fence row. I wondered if you would mind if I got some honey?" "You don't get honey from honeysuckle," said the farmer. Again, the young man explained about his degree from UT, so the farmer agreed to let him collect some honey. Soon the young man came back to his car with two buckets full of honey.
 
The next day the same young man drove up to the farmer's house. "Sir, yesterday when I was getting the honey, I noticed you had some pussy willow down by the creek." The farmer said, "Let me get my shoes and I'll go with you....."

The Beauty of Nature

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he replied
"No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback-Mountain gargabe in our garden."