Mental Hospital

The governor decides to visit the mental hospital to help boost public opinion. His campaign manager makes all the arrangements, coordinating the t.v. stations, newsparers, etc.

When he arrives, he is greeted and given a tour by the hospital administrator. As he is about to leave, the governor notices a hallway that he'd not been down. When asked, the administrator explained that the totally hopeless patients were housed there. The governor, sticking to his 'I care about everyone' moto, insists that he be allowed to see these folks also.

After being led down the hallway, the governor was shown three doors. The administrator took him to door number one.

The door was opened and the governor walked in. Inside, he found a man jumping around and swinging a flyswatter. He watched for a few minutes and then asked the fellow what he was doing. The patient replied," I'm John McEnroe and I'm practicing my tennis game". "When I get out of here, I'm going to win Wimbledon again". The governor shook his hand, had a picture taken and went to door number two.

The second door was opened and once again, the governor walked in. Inside this room, he found another patient who was swinging a broom. He watched this patient and asked him, also, what he was doing. The patient stopped ans replied, "I'm Jack Nicklas and I'm practicing my golf game". "When I get out of here, I'm going to win the Masters' again". As before, the governor shook this patient's hand, had a picture taken and went to door number three.

After the first two experiences, the governor was surprised to see a patient sitting calmly on the floor, indian style, naked and holding his hard-on in one hand while placing peanuts on the end of his erection with the other. The governor watched this for several minutes while trying to figure out just what this patient was doing. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, the governor asked the patient, "What in the hell are you doing?!". The patient, still sitting on the floor and calmly placing and then replacing each peanut, calmly replied, "Nothing, I'm just fucking nuts, they're never gonna let me get out of here".